Counselling for Issues With Fertility & Pregnancy
Women have been told, for centuries, that the ability to conceive and give birth is the measure of their worth.
You might think this is an old tale and that, as a society, we have developed beyond this way of valuing women. After all women now have careers, drive cars are allowed to take on mortgages, vote, and to choose not to have children… and as modern women we feel that this all holds true, that is until we actually decide that we want to have a child.
Counselling for issues with fertility and worries around pregnancy can help you work through your concerns and find a positive path forwards.
I want to become pregnant!
As soon as the decision is made the doubts begin to kick in:
- What if I can’t conceive?
- And if I can’t have children then what does it say about me as a woman?
The immense pressure of social judgement will unfortunately add to your angst and pain, that you may not be able to hold your baby and watch it grow.
And when you do get pregnant, another set of worries presents themselves:
- Will I be able to carry the baby through?
- Will it be healthy?
- Am I doing anything that might harm my unborn child?
And all this before the baby is born and the parenting worries kick in.
The process of getting pregnant and pregnancy takes time. Feelings around pregnancy, fertility, and future parenting are as complex as they are strong, and can take over your day to day thoughts.
Pregnancy concerns and infertility Counselling helps explore these issues and helps you to find your own unique way of going through this stage of life, feeling your best and with confidence.
Are you worried around not being able to get pregnant?
You may be going through some of the emotions and questions below:
- I feel a failure, feel guilty, feel angry (with myself or my partner)
- I am worry that the family or my partner will leave me, or at least judge me?
- If I can’t have a baby, what is the purpose of my life?
Are you worried about being pregnant?
Are any of these questions familiar?
- Am I doing anything harmful to my unborn baby?
- How will I survive the pain of childbirth and what is best method of delivery?
- Am I grown up enough to be a parent, How will I know what the baby needs?
- How will I manage to keep my career going and will it be lost?
- Unplanned pregnancy – will he leave me? Am I ready to be a parent? Can I cope financially? What will happen to my job or my career?
- Has our relationship changed since I got pregnant?
Anxiety around fertility and pregnancy
Many women I work with are worried about being unable to conceive. The worrying often starts not long after the decision is to conceive is made, even though as yet there is nothing to be concerned about.
A common thought that is voiced is that:
“It seems like the whole world is getting pregnant – but me”.
The trouble is that there is a popular image that the journey of getting pregnant and then motherhood is care free and easy, and that it should all happen without any stumbling blocks, and what you are experiencing is far from this ideal.
Struggling to get pregnant? You are not alone
If you are struggling to fall pregnant, going through pregnancy test kits, downloading ‘fertility apps’, pressuring your partner to do a sperm count, or conform to a ‘healthy fertility lifestyle’, sobbing uncontrollably each month in the loo about another little loss of hope – you are not alone .
Though you may not realise it, because no one talks about it, many women are struggling with these issues just like you. Many of your female friends will also be ashamed about admitting that there might be difficulties, out of fear of being judged as ‘not good enough’, not a ‘fully functioning women’.
You worry about pregnancy because you care
With frequent news reports and constant debates on health and modern life, it may seem that the issues around fertility, conceiving and being pregnant are much more complicated than in the past and that becoming a mother is rarely a natural and spontaneous act.
In reality becoming pregnant and motherhood has never been an easy, ‘to be taken for granted’ journey, and women have been going through the same gruelling emotional roller coaster of a ride since time immemorial.
In many ways the past offered even more uncertainty, not just about the ability to get pregnant, but then to carry the pregnancy through, to deliver the baby safely and to keep your child alive, to be able to have enough food to get them through the first years, to ward off diseases and protect them from dangers and natural disasters.
Comparing life then with our lives now, being in relatively secure, safe environments and, for most, having good nutritious food that is available and access to modern health care and medicines, is not to say that a woman’s worries and concern today are any less significant, but to acknowledge the depth of struggles, worries and suffering of all those women before us and to connect with, and embrace them with pride.
Whether you conceive first time, or after a long struggle, or find out that it is not possible, by embarking on the journey of motherhood you join the tribe of courageous women who dared to admit to themselves, and to the world, that having a baby and becoming a mother is more important than anything. Having admitted that, you have made yourself vulnerable to the pain of uncertainty and not being in control, no matter how many apps and pregnancy sticks you accrued!
Counselling for fertility and pregnancy with Anna?
Counselling will give you an additional injection of strength and reassurance to go through this intense and at the same time, amazing and exhilarating process. And whatever the result, to come out the other end of it ‘an altered you’: bigger, stronger, and more courageous.
Counselling will add to your sense of acceptance and help you to feel more relaxed during the process, which may help your chances to become pregnant or go through pregnancy in a more healthy way, mentally.
Here are some useful links for specialist advice around fertility
The NHS have produced a useful list of resources around the subject of fertility and conception
